for another month or so, i won't be able to post so frequently (not that i'm doing it now anyway)as my finals will be around the corner... i do wonder how i'm going to get through the papers this semester as i've been in a particularly lazy mode throughout classes this time around. i doubt if i even got past third gear at any time of the semester (except while i'm playing football... hahaha...) but, i've gotta do it anyway...
i do realize something however... whenever i'm feeling pressured or depressed, i do seem to be able to perform better. when i'm depressed especially, it seems to trigger my creative side. for instance, i've been feeling particularly down the other day when i wrote "hope" and "unfinished article" was written at the end of last semester when everything seems so lost. i wonder if those articles are any good? my friends told me they are but i have doubts if they are just saying that to make me feel better. i've got low confidence so don't blame me.
which brings me to comment on an article my friend wrote on his blog. he was writing about people showing off their abilities and achievements. about people who crave appreciation. i've read in a magazine that it is a normal psychological pattern (especially with the male species) that we just want to be the strongest, fastest, biggest... you get the flow... as to appreciation, we are emotional beings. we don't actually crave appreciation but what we actually do crave is acceptance. we want to be accepted. no, we NEED to be accepted into our society.
on my personal opinion, is acceptance really that important? is is a big YES. look around you. do you know anyone who is always alone? chances are everyone you know seems to belong to a group of friends. and if there is a person who craves personal space, chances are he will be "labeled" as a loser. i know coz i've been there. well, no one actually called me a loser before but i know how depressed loneliness can get you to feel. when alone, a minute of waiting feels like an hour but with a friend, an hour feels like a minute. einstein's theory of relativity. hahaha... however, if my articles are good, i might appreciate that depressed feelings more as i will then be able to write more and who knows? my articles might be worth a fortune one day... damn... it's 12 noon and i'm still dreaming...
ok. enough crap. right now, i'm in my uni's comp lab and i've just completed my lab report due tomorrow. the reason i'm not already speeding home is that there is this innovative invention competition being organized and well, my friends and i are interested. the briefing for the competition is at one so here i am, with nothing much to do... the competition is actually an inter-varsity competition so being the low-confidence creature that i am, i don't know if we have what it takes to compete. furthermore, i'm only in my third year so what do i know? anyway, i'll just attend the briefing and i'll post further updates over here...
well, i guess i should stop "trying" to blog with an empty mind which is resulting in so much crap and instead, try to prepare for my coming final papers... hahaha... easier said than done... but i'm going to try anyway... so it's g'bye for now...
4 comments:
"minute of waiting feels like an hour but with a friend, an hour feels like a minute."
believe me, i REALLY know how it feels.*wink wink* hahaha...
anyway, parts of what you say are indeed very true. but i do not believe that you have to be what others want you to be so you will be accepted. i've known you for god knows how many years but i accepted who you are, the same way you did not try to change the person i am today. sometimes we can never meet up with expectations, but who are they to judge? true friends will appreciate you for you. to show off so to gain acceptance only attracts parasites, people who wants to share what you have, to yourself. i'd rather have a group of friends who care for your well being than be the next pop idol where you're celebrated by the society, but no one gives a damn about your feelings.
now you may wanna talk with me on this over lunch, considering i eat alone everyday cuz my coursemates think i'm an ass. hahaha...
jason..why nvr comment on my site one ah? :P
anyway, i am not quite sure whether i am seeking for acceptance. Perhaps i am more of seeking for attention. but then, i ll sort that out.:) as for you, i guess, perhaps it's not quite true that creativity only emerges at the depression point, perhaps you are more inspired by emotions. Thus, being depressed inspired you. hehe..try being frightful or in love?
wow... longest comments so far... hahaha...
anyway, jason, i'm not saying that we have to be what others want us to be. i've always done what i wanna do and what i felt was right without giving a damn what others want me to do. all i'm saying is that acceptance is important for pshycological purposes - confidence, security and stuff like that. furthermore, not everyone is as lucky as you to have a friend like me... hahaha... well, maybe it's me who is lucky to have friends like you guys...
and kam, i've tried writing when i was in other emotional modes (happy, in love...) but the results always sucks. perhaps it's easier to potray sadness and depression?
ps: jason, i'm always free for lunch (you're not the only one used to having lunch alone)... but you've gotta travel all the way to uniten for that... hahaha...
see nic..that's your PROBLEM. when we want to have lunch with you...you always want US to GO to U. it seems like everytime pun we drive u out~!...now that u mentioned it...
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